date: 1975
subject: A Personal Question

Elvis: You usually tell the truth-could I ask you a personal question?

Wanda: About what?

Elvis: Me.

Wanda: Sure.

Elvis: Do-do-eh-if you were just to meet me somewhere-like-eh-not know anything about what I do-this is hard to imagine-just a guy-can you do that?

Wanda: Picture you as a man and not an entertainer-sure, I think of you that way more anyway.

Elvis: I know-but would you like me-if I wasn't-wasn't him? I mean, I do have other traits, don't I?

Wanda: I think so-you'd always be good looking-I like that.

Elvis: Oh, come on-don't do that to me!

Wanda: Okay Elvis-I think so, you'd still be sweet and have a nice personality, and be understanding even if you drove a truck, and I think you'd still be funny and I'd like you even if you didn't use eyeliner and mascarra.

Elvis: Oh hell! (laughs) I'd be a blonde though.

Wanda: That would be a minus.

Elvis: (laughs) See-it was smart to dye my hair-more women like it black.

I have no problem at all not to see him as the superstar he was. Maybe I never had this problem because I started to love him already before I had any idea of what a big star he was. I saw him on TV and from the first time I saw him I a strong feeling of familiarity. I didn't understand the words of his songs as I did not yet understand English. I just loved the sweetness and gentleness in his voice. His voice was like a caress. My parents told me what a 'big star' he was, but to me he was simply my friend.

The first book I read about him was Albert Goldman's biography. I was shocked. Clearly he was not talking about this wonderful man I loved so much? I never believed a word I read. I just knew these were lies.

My mother, who knows how much I love Elvis, sometimes tells me : 'You don't know this person (Elvis), you don't know what he was like.'
But I do know. I can feel it. I know. I have always known. Can't explain why.

I really agree with you, Ladies!

To me, Elvis was born with an inner quality, an energy, that simply displayed all around. He found his way of expressing it through music, of course, but also in everyhing he did, thought or said. Or by only his presence, because he could not help expressing who he was, in every sense, because HE WAS.

That's a beautiful idea, Sue!

But before, it's better to tear them into pieces, to make sure nobody is going to take them back.

Thank you, Sue!

Just "hearing" Elvis asking Wanda, one can tell he was really serious about what he was asking. It was in 1975. I wonder what was going in his mind at the time.

Maybe he was realizing how many people around him pretended to love and care for him, like he was nobody worthy by himself. Possibly it made doubt himself in that stage of his life. (We all have times in our life when that kind of doubts appear and I think they are turning points for us. The next step from there is to hold on Faith and go on, no matter what, no matter who. It reinforces our trust in God as we surrender to Him.)

Wanda was light and fresh in her responses, inadvertly helping him to go back to himself to find the answers. Fortunately, she did not mother him at that point. That's my opinion.

(It's so easy to overprotect someone in distress... specially someone so loved as Elvis was to Wanda. Overprotection inhabilites. True Love potentializes.)

Boy, now I know that I was just as bad about that as anyone of those right there with him. He was sheltered, not told, sugar coated when he was told, never critized much at all then in a fun way, always told he looked good etc; even when his pants were too short (shorter than he liked them) he was told they were okay, just the way he was standing etc:...and then someone came in who wasn't that "into" how they protected him and told him "Hey Elvis, your pants are too short...the left one" and Elvis came unglued, he had to change costumes before he could relax enough to go on! I wasn't there but I was told by someone who was and who kind of was awed that it affected Elvis so much to think he wasn"t "perfectly dressed". The rest of the group were right on that guy who "talked" and he I guess never got near Elvis again from what was said. Of course Elvis didn't know why he never saw him again-
they hid that part protecting him you know. If Elvis had a huge ego it is their fault-they never seemed to tell him what he should hear-just what they thought he needed to hear and there was a big difference at times. I was guilty too, many times I so wanted to tell him and I didn't---it might have helped in some way-but I couldn't stand to tell him something that would upset him, mess up his life, hurt his feelings etc;...yet, when he did find out things, it was probably worse than if someone had sort of given him a clue in advance. Too late now. But I sure know he was sheltered, protected and babied way too much for his own good, not that he wasn't aware of some of it, he just didn't know how deeply it went and how much he wasn't told...especially about personal things. I think it added to the pressure he was under when he did find out-he didn't have a chance to get used to things-they just bombed him all at once...sometimes in a very big way. But maybe it was all done because he tended to not want to hear anything bad about anyone and wouldn't listen or believe it so everyone just didn't tell him anything much. whatever, I was guilty too. And live with knowing that...it's easier now, but at first I guess it helped put me in that cave for years and years-didn't want to deal with any of it. so just put it away and sealed it up darn tight. I wonder if that's why I can't remember my childhood years-don't want to deal with it so sealed it up tight...some times could be a good thing I guess too. Elvis kind of did that I think, so much he didn't tell unless he was under the influence of the sleeping pills and then he sometimes got depressed and said things that were way back in his memory and still hurting him. His family were really poor, I mean his mom, dad and him in those early years, moving all the time, could carry everything they owned, no money, his mom did cleaning when she could, laundry in tubs outside by hand, ironed, picked cotton dragging young Elvis around on the sack, no food many times except for what chruch and aid services brought them. He loved Thanksgiving and Christmas because someone brought boxes of food for them-food they never got to eat except then and it would last for several weeks and he got to eat good things. He said he didn't know chickens had drumsticks, breasts etc: as all he'd ever seen were wings, backs and necks-that's what his momma would be given where she cleaned at the 'big house'. He said he sometimes felt like he was eating someones leftovers, because the lady of the house would rake it all into one big pile and give it to his mother. Elvis said if had not been so hungry he might not have eaten it-he wouldn't eat after anyone and didn't want anyone eating off his plate or out of his whatever it was-all his life his food was his...unless he was done with it...I think it was Linda who mentioned going to share his bacon and he shoved his plate back and wouldn't eat anything else off it because she took a bite off a piece and put it back on his plate. And they were an "item" at the time...but early in their relationship. Probably it just brought back a memory that overwhelmed him as I can't see him being nasty about it. She didn't say he was, he just wouldn't eat any more. I don't think he said anything, she just realized how he felt and didn't do it again...unless he was finished. Weird what memories from childhood can do to a grown person-but I am well aware of that. wjh

Per your comments Wanda, seems like there was always a big part of Elvis that was both sensitive and insecure. The deep insecurties he had appeared to have always remained with him. Must have gone back to his childhood.

yeah spacially when those memories are as heavy as his..almost everthing in his early life was against his delicate spirit..he recorded them in a deeper place, trying to cover them with more sweet moments in his life and knowing how hurt he was,you can't help but say good things to him wanting to heal the scars he got in his soul..so I don't think you are guilty ..after all, you did this with a big amount of love and respect in your heart,for him.Others were mostly yes people while ridiculing him at the same time..what you did and they did,was exactly different things..sorry but,that's just what I think about the subject..and believe me,I'm not trying to tell you,what I think, you would like to hear..

Wanda,

Everybody, when looking at the past, can point out things that could be done better, seen with the present's perspetive. "If we only knew then..."
That's the greatness of evolving, that we can widen our understanding of others, ourselves and Life.

Anyway, if Elvis just wanted more of what he had in his everyday life, he would not call you to talk. You gave him something he felt being good and desirable.

You were YOU, expressing yourself in that section of time, as much as HE was doing also.

Your soul is expressing through you differently now, and more changes are to come in your path to ONENESS. The same can be said about Elvis/El'vis.

I think that we have to love every little spark of our soul showing along the way, with its limitations but with it greatness.

Wanda, I just remembered something you said in another post. You told him once, during a phone conversation with him, that he was spoiled. You weren't being mean, just honest in a forthright loving sense. Anyhow, just thought I'd point that out as a reminder that while you spared his feelings at times so as to not hurt him, you didn't sugar coat everything. There were times it seems when you felt it was safe to let the truth out, and you did, and other times when you didn't. You did what you felt was best at the time, using your best judgement.

It's so easy to second guess ourselves. Should we have said this or that. And with Elvis dying so young, you must have wondered should have I done or said this or that and would it have made a difference. But the important thing was that your heart was right and the decisions you made were based on what you believed to be the right choices at the time.

YES, ACTUALLY YOU WERE HONEST TO HIM AND PLEASED HIM WITH BEING SO..BESIDES,I DON'T THINK THERE ARE MUCH HE COULDN'T SEE BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE TRYING TO COVER..HE WAS SUCH A CLEVER PERSON WHO COULD SEE WHO WAS AFTER WHAT..

I agree with what you are saying above, Laurie and Zey. 100 %.