I just wrote this article. I cried when I wrote it, but not for Elvis. I cried for myself and the memory of that experience which I shared with him, and in recalling it now, has renewed by FAITH.

http://www.elvislightedcandle.org/theman/testamentoflight.htm

Actually the last live concert I saw was in 1975. This is a little mis-leading in the article...I didn't mean it to be, didn't even think of it until after I had put the article up on ELC. But In comparing my '75 experience with others' '77 experience, the same thing was going on in 1975 as in 1977. (I just qualified this in the article).

I knew SOME of what was going on at the time...but not as much as I learned later on.

Yes, he certainly gave his all right to the end. After at least one on tour show, Elvis felt that the sound in the place had been terrible and so he wanted to give all the money back! Horrified "they" said, "But Elvis, you can't do that!"

I will create a forum for this entitled SWEET INSPIRATION. By the time you read this it should be showing on the main page.

Wish I could be of help about the music, but don't know of anyone this writes music.

I remember my Vegas friend (she was a close friend of Felton Jarvis among others near Elvis) telling me in 1974 that when Elvis "rebeled" they tried to sedate him, but he was too difficult to hold down ("they" in this instance were some of the mm whose names I won't mention). So at least some of the mm were on a payroll other than Elvis'. Then in the last few years of his life as his illness progressed he obviously COULD be held down. Especially if some of his "medication" had been switched to cause Elvis to become more managable.

Hi,

Elvis often had shaking hands toward the last few years-he did have some pain from performing, swinging his arms and gripping the microphone night after night-but yes, he was very nervous doing that show. He wanted to be good, to look his best and he did it. He was awed by the thought of performing for "the world" and then he had the glaucoma "attack" right on rehearsal day and had a bad headache and then had to have a needle stuck in his eye to drain the fluid out so he could do the show without extreme pain from the lighting. And then his retina detached partially and that hurt like having "a finger stuck in my eye" he said and he couldn't move a round much because his balance was off from his vision messing up. So there he was, "the world" and he was fighting physical things! But it turned out good for him-and he was pleased with it pretty much. He did feel badly because he realized that he and Pris were not going to get back together-and he needed to know that in his mind if not in his heart. I kind of think he hoped that something that big a deal would bring her back-he was feelling vunerable and scared by the idea of the "world" watching him, and like anyone, he wanted to pull in as much family support as he could. But it was mostly his eyes that really bothered him-during the show-it didn't really show if you didn't know-he kept it under control and he sang beautifully. I thought he would put more action into it but then when he told me what had happened, and that he couldn't do much-and he said, besides "don't you think it's time I started actin' my age and quit trying to be a "rock star"? I said no-
you never were a "rock star"-you're Elvis Presley! And he laughed- that cute giggle too and said, Thank you honey, I'll try 'n remember that. wjh

She and Lisa did watch it, he was laughing over it later.
Lisa watched all his movies, specials and etc: over and over she has said in the past. So much so, that I heard there was concern for her time spent watching her daddy so much, but apparently, she needed to do that.
Lots of kids who lose a parent can't watch them at all-but it's a good thing when they do-and for the lost's mate also-helps them to remember and to recover I think, but I'm no psyc doc. , just my thoughts from personal experience. I shut things about Elvis out for years-couldn't watch or listen much at all, and now I am sorry I was that way-boy I went through every grief and regret imaginable just a few months ago and I WOULD not want to do that again over any body! It's better to face it and go on, that's my thoughts anyway, based on myself and my own emotional experiences. Everyone is different though and we all have to face things in the way that our heart and brain can except it. I think our spirit knows us best-and will protect us when it has to when dealing with trauma of any kind. Especially if we are prone to listen to our spirit talking to us-I don't know what people who shut themselves off to such things do-maybe they just turn wrong side out and get it over with or close up until something comes along that breaks the shell? Wjh

Sue I watched it.. a prescious but sad moment as well..God bless his beautiful spirit..

Elvis was berating himself one day, feeling very disgusted with himself and I said, Well, all that may be true, but you are 95% of the time a nice guy, kind, sweet, funny and very masculine in all ways, that makes you pretty much a great guy, doesn't it? He was silent a minute and then huffed, "makein' me sound like some kinda saint-an you know damn well I ain't no saint!"
That's true he wasn't no saint-but he tired his best to be all things to all people, putting himself last and saying that to be able to make others happy, to ease their cares, help them over a rough spot and then stand back and get to see them smile, see their happiness and feel their joy-well, it was worth it all just for that. I get the greatest highs, the best of times and I'm so blessed by God and these people, how can I look at my life when it's not goin' the way I might want and not be glad I'm me? Man, I got it all-an more-just want to share it while I can, that 's all...um selfish-want to be there and see 'em share it! (He laughed happily) After that he was cheerful and bubbly and got over putting himself down.
There were far more good times shared with him over the phone, than bad times. Rough times came-but good ones came rushing in to make it better very soon. It was like as he put it a "storm...comin' in slow, then gettin' rough and then easin' off to let the clouds break and the sun come through- that's life...the way it's meant to be."

You'd probably get that, kind of oh no, look and then the "thank you, thank you very much" response...or depending on the place this happened, a hug that you'd never ever forget-his hugs were special and then there was that warmness and enveloping persona/aura of him too along with that wonderful warmed faintly spicey scent with the underlaying clove scent that clung to your clothes too! And if he had a cigar, I would hope it would be the vanilla ones or the cherry ones-I didn't like the other's he smoked -but those special ones were great.
They cost a lot too...and only were sold in one store in Hollywood that I know of. I went looking for some to give him but couldn't find any and finally ordered some from that store up there! He was surprised, he probably had boxes of them, but he was very surprised that I got some for him-and it wasn't his birthday either he-said. He wanted to know what was the occasion and I told him it was a "because gift" and he grinned and ducked his head down, then said, "You been talkin' to Suzy-that's what she told me too." She had sent him a book that she had and he "hinted" that he would like one as he had not heard about it. So she did as a surprise. He was so sweet, he opened the box of cigars, got one out, lit it and blew the smoke to the side but waved his hand so it would float over us- and he smiled with the cigar between his teeth- he looked so cute-and so young right at that moment. He was about 28 then I think... I still have the little band off the cigar-he handed it to me as if he expected that I wanted it...guess he was used to that so he just automaticlly handed it over. I took it and said, oh great, I'll give this to Julie, she keeps every thing." And he chuckled... saying for me to "bring her by sometime-hadn't seen her in a while." That year he bought her pedal racing car, the latest kid toy on the market and then Jimmie put a motor on it so she had a real racing car-she was about 5 and used the school park sidewalks for a track. He also bought her an electric kids guitar and amp, a set of drums and a small organ-her room was full of stuff-and she didn't part with a thing! He also gave her jewelry-she was a little kid and had a small ruby ring, a gold bracelet and then as she grew things got bigger-a diamond ring, a sapphire ring and necklace and then there was the turquoise craze coming along and she got that as well. He had to be careful, I wouldn't let him buy really expensive stuff and so he carefully chose little stones etc:. I think her favorite thing from him was the watch like the one he wore she got for her 16th birthday. One year when he had things made for Lisa, he also had a lace dress -pink- and a reversable leopard print coat, black maryjane style shoes and little socks with matching lace tops and a purse and muff to go with the outfit. If anything she was well dressed that year! He sent her a party dress when she was 7-black velvet bodice, white crepe, skirt with crinolines under it and of course, shiney black shoes too, necklace and bracelet and of course a ring to match.
She loved that outfit-well anything he sent she loved-and it was difficult to keep her feet on the ground... We sometimes went around and around over NOT letting him know she needed or wanted anything. It didn't always work...I returned a few things to make my point to both of them-and he pouted. So did she. I fully could see what Priscilla was dealing with-he was a hard sell when it came to buying gifts for anyone-his own kid must have really been a problem for him. He was wanting Julie (Starla she wanted to be called by then) to come back to visit at Graceland in l976-77-he was asking if she'd like to because Lisa would be there and he wanted them to be friends...which I thought was nice but a bit odd since my daughter was so much older-but that was Elvis-age didn't matter-and he wanted to get to know Julie better-she was always Julie to him-he wanted to have her stay there and he'd be there too and he said he would come get her if we would let her come. I never told her much about it-he asked her if she'd like to visit and she was considering it. I am glad it didn't work out- but she regrets not taking him up on it-she was on a soccer team and they were winning-she wanted to wait until the season was over as they were going into late games since they were in the run off and they were the District Champions in the end. Elvis was tickled about that-even though he said it was too rough a sport for a little girl. Suzy went to the games , I couldn't stand seeing her take nose dives etc; and told him about Julie playing dirty and he and her laughed. He was proud of her-and of course sent her a nice gift too.
Still, she wishes she had quit and gone to be with him and Lisa even though it would have been awful for her as it turned out. I think she might still believe that if she had been there, she might could have "saved him" some how. Hardly think that would have helped, but we all tend to think that, I guess. wjh