Elvis - A Lighted Candle

[Wanda June Hill]

(NOTICE: This may be copied to other Elvis Websites for the purpose of sharing with other true Elvis fans. Should you choose to copy it, we ask that you include the address: www.elvislightedcandle.org as your source. Thank you. ELC Host Maia Nartoodmid, and Wanda June Hill.)
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[This is one of the very last conversations with Elvis-It was in July, Lisa was visiting and he was upstairs.]
W. Where are you-sounds like you're in an echo chamber somewhere?
E: Sittin' in the tub....naked. (Snickers)
W. Well, wouldn't think you'd be wearing one of those fancy suits in it!
E: (Laughs) Naw...that's fer sure-damn things too expensive!
W; Yeah and they might shrink!
E. If they were gonna do that, would have before now much as I sweat out there! Man, not a dry thread! Took 'em off un had 'em drippin' on the floor!
W: Sometimes you do look like you had a bucket of water poured over your head.
E. Feels it too. Gawd, don't know what's the matter with my back-been killin' me to sit or lay down-walkin' don't feel so good either. Nothin' seems to faze it much.
W: And you told your doctor what---?
E: Aww he don't know, said maybe need to drink more water or somethin' an' if that don't help, he'll give me something that will-thinks it's kidneys but don't seem that way-it's like my back bones or something.
W: Maybe you should get some x-rays and have a orthopedic doctor look at them.
E. A bone doctor?
W: Yes-someone specializing in skeleton and ligaments. That's what hold you up-that and muscle and you've got muscle doing what you do you have to have that.
E: Not like used to though, getting kinda weak (snickers) in the knees maybe...(Laughs then curses a blue streak) Forgive me for that...God, even laughing hurts today!
W: I do think you should have x-rays Elvis. It doesn't take long and then you'd know if you have thrown something out of place-could be a slipped disk instead of just a sprain or muscle pulled.
E. Yeah, he said I just pulled a muscle or somethin' but this is goin' on a long time and it just seems to be gettin' worse 'stead of better. I got some shows comin' up and it's going to be hell if this don't get better soon. Gawd damn it, always something! Some body oughta just shoot me in the head 'n get it done.
W: Now don't say that! Thoughts are things, don't go sending out to some nut case.
E: I know, don't want that. Told you 'bout that-huh?
W: Yeah-and it wasn't funny.
E: No-wasn't funny fer sure. But nothing happened an' I'm not worryin' 'bout that kind of shit. Just a little concerned 'bout these shows and this f.....n' back!
W: So-how many toes do you have?
E: What?
W: You do have some, don't you? Toes?
E: (Laughs , then caught his breath as if he hurt) Good gawd woman, how many you think I have?
W: Maybe 11 or so---
E: (Giggles ) Freaks might...huh?
W: You're no freak! Just wanted to get you to laugh and you did.
E: Smart ass huh! I got 10...an' um gonna have a lady I know come over an' fix 'em for me. She does pedicures and manicures and will come to ma house. Helps keep the damn things from gettin' sore so much. Done more'n the f....n doctor ever did for 'em!
W: I don't doubt that-I don't trust doctors all that much. The one who did my surgery was good, and he couldn't believe I was sitting up that afternoon and doing so well.
E: Wasn't 'cause you let me know nothin' bout it.
W: Now, don't go getting your feathers all ruffled up! Nothing happened and I promised to tell you if ever anything came up like that again. okay?
E: Okay.
W: How's the kid, enjoying being with daddy?
E: Daddy's enjoyin' being with his kid-shes having a great tme and wants to go with me on tour. She says I need her-an' she right, I do.
W: It's great you have such a good report with her, see, I told you it would work out and that she'd be thrilled just being able to come home and be with you. I hope you give her lots of private time, just the two of you.
E: I try to-we take walks around the property, sit way off from the house 'n talk and she tells me all kinds of things and about what she hopes she will be when she grows up.
W; I see...that's good she trusts you with secrets. She sure is starting to look like you.
E: Uh-huh (snickers softly) I like it.
W: I thought you would-you know, I like it too. I hope she turns out to be a dead-ringer for you! You're such a "pretty man" she'll be a beautiful woman!
E: Could of gone on all day an not said that 'bout me, damn it. (Laughs then swears) Sorry, didn't mean to do that in your ear...
W: I think you need to get that appointment soon-is it a dull ache or a stabbing one?
E: Both, when I move a little quick it stabs 'n then settles into just a damn constant pain.
W: You need to see a doctor about it-and not the ones you see now, okay?
E: Yes, mommy, I'll be your good little boy 'n see the skeleton doctor-maybe he can make me a new one, 'n this one can just come out at Halloween?
W: (Laughs) Now whose the smart aleck?
E: Ass....
W; Okay, I know what you said.
E: Yessa likes to sit in the dark an' look at the stars with me---she knows where lots of them are now and we lay out there at the pool an' watch the sky. See'n some weird things up there flyin' 'round. She's got good vision and she seees far into space. We fell asleep out there the other night 'n damn mosquitoes liked to eat us alive! 'Tween them 'n chiggers man, we been itchin' like dogs 'round here!
W: I'll bet-I remember chiggers and I'm glad they aren't out here!
E: Yeah-we got plenty of bugs-but you all got other things we don't have....
W: I can't hear you when you run that motor-so I'm just going to let you go and you can enjoy soaking, all right?
E: Huh? Just a minute, can't hear right now, tryin' to shut this damn fan off.
W: I was just telling you I have to go, so I'll talk to you another day-enjoy the tub.
E: Oh really, you have somethin' to do? Okay...call me again...early.
W: I think you have something to do-don't you? Like call the doctor?
E: Later I will-they're closed now though-I will, promise.
W: Going to hold you to that one, buddy.
E: (Laughs) No, I will-it-it hurts like a son of a bitch an' messin with my life.
W: Is Lisa playing now?
E: No, she's gone shopping an' to get some clothes for the tour-(snickers) she's makin' sure I take her with me!
Used that one before-no clothes, ya know.
W: I'm sure she has plenty of clothes!
E: She'd outgrown them..'n so she an' Pat went out-their bringin' me something too.
W: Ice cream bars?
E: (Snickers) No-bar-b-que!
W: Aw-oh, forbidden fruit!
E: Once 'n a while, don't hurt nothin'-yea know, we sat outside last night for a while off down at the barn 'cause it's darker an' can see better-the sky ya know. "n she told me all 'bout what she's gonna be when she grows up. (Sounds so pleased)
W: And that is?
E: It's a secret-cant' tell no body...jus' me 'n her (laughs)
W: And daddy told her what?
E: That she could be anythin' she wanted to be, but that I would like for her to grow up sweet and nice and marry a nice guy an' have a some children so I could be a grand daddy- Lord have mercy! Gawd, that sounds old when I say it now! An' she said-- she promised she would give me grandchildren an' she got real serious an' said she wanted to be...eh...Lord, just about said it! Good secret keeper me! (Snickers) Anyway, told her she could do that too, but I'd like to see her find a nice good looking guy, get married, have a home and some kids and then think 'bout other kinds of things.
W: Okay, that sounds like a plan.
E: (Laughs) Yeah, she was okay with it too. 'n then she asked me if I wanted to have any more kids and I said I didn't know, what did she think about it an' she thought about a second 'n took hold of me real tight and said, No Elvis, let it just be me for you! An' she started crying, so you know we both cried an' I told her she'd be just for me, always. Didn't want any more kids, but her an' then she was hugging and kissing me and tellin' me I'm her little daddy forever and ever. OH shit...that's enough of this...Gawd, I'm a f....n' big baby! ( He sounded choked up.) See, I just miss her so -so when she's gone back home to-to....
W; Elvis, it's great, it's okay to care so much it hurts-and to let people know that too. That's what we love about you, you care and aren't afraid to let it show.
E: Oh...I thought it was...was just my good looks 'n sex appeal that got to you all. (He said in a very quiet voice that's husky from trying to get over crying.)
W: That's it too, but it's the inner guy that I like the most-that other one is just for show.
E: Fer sure! ( Snickers slightly)
W: I have to go-I'm working half a day, got 3 long wills to type up and they have to be perfect. That'll take me all afternoon!
E: Thanks for callin' me sugar-it helped. I feel better 'n I'm turnin' into a prune-
W: Well, time to get out then-bye, have a good time with your baby girl, buddy. Love you lots.
E: Love you too darlin', please call me again soon. Bye-bye.
[This is the last conversation that I taped and it was done on my 1973 model telephone answering machine tape that I don't have as it crumbled apart long ago. At least I transcribed it off while it still played. This is maybe the 4th time I've even read it-and I've never shared it with anyone outside the family until now.] I don't think he ever had x-rays or saw a specialist- but his autopsy said he had 3 compression fractures of the spine caused by the medication given for his colon problems. No wonder he was hurting. wjh

[Lighthouseseeker]

thank you Wanda, for letting us read this very prescious conversation..how wonderful he spent some time with his baby girl..God ! it hurts to know how painful those days for him,wish I could travel in time and be able to take away that pain from him.. silly but can't help feeling that way..

[Blue Moon]

Yes, this conversation is so precious and heartfelt. It's so obvious he loved his little girl to pieces. What are chiggers? And How is it that medication can cause the spine to have compression fractures? How come the doctor(s) did not warn him of this dangerous side effect?

[Wanda June Hill]

Hi, chiggers are very tiny little red mite like bugs that are found in the grass and weeds throughout the southern states and even Oklahoma in some areas. They crawl onto humans and get it the tight warm areas, like waist bands areas, groin, under arms and just about anywhere they want actually and they make red bumps that itch like crazy because of their saliva and presence. They are hard to get rid of, have to suffacate them or take a bath in bleach water-that's what we did in Oklahoma and then we put a paste of soda & water on them too. They don't last long but even their little dead bodies cause an itch from being inside a pore. The compression fractures are from the cortisone I think, back then they didn't know that it could damage the bones, weaken them and cause problems...and in his case, as active as he had been etc; his spine had lots of wear and tear so it was the site that got hit...so to speak. Lots of times it's hip fractures and long bones-just like that stuff they give women for boneloss- those tablets your supposed to take and then stand or sit up afterward for several hours-that crap destroys the esophgas (spelled wrong I'm sure) and also can damage other areas as one of them can damage the bones of the jaw! But are they pulling them off the market-heck no! They've convinced women that we are all losing bone mass rapidly and going to break if we don't take them. That's a crock-everyone loses bone mass with old age and it's not unnatural to do that. Few people lose it in such great amounts as to be in danger of being extremely frail...and there are other things that work better and don't damage parts of the body! I get so angry at the medical/pharmacy companies for pushing pills on everyone for every little thing. Poor Elvis needed a doctor with half a brain instead of one with dollar signs and ego for brains. Dr. Nick I think just didn't know his stuff, didn't keep up and didn't take Elvis seriously and too, the Col. didn't take him seriously either, after all he was still a young man, he was just a "hypochrondiac" and imagined he had pains because he just was too lazy to get out and work all the time. I hate those people.
And I can't help it...sometimes. I haven't the forgiving nature of Elvis' who might hate something going on but not the one doing it. Anyway, that's the best answer I can give you-his back was just compressing onto it's self as spines do but usually not in one so young. Of course Elvis lived more than one life-he was constantly busy doing something from birth-didn't sleep, didn't relax, constantly moving something, never totally at rest unless he took sleeping pills and that was so he wouldn't dream I think, or lay there thinking "too much". It was almost like he had no off button, I guess some people are just born that way too. But maybe deep down inside he knew he didn't have much time so he filled it as fully as he could-- doing what he enjoyed most of the time. I am glad I had that conversation written down and finally got up enough nerve to open the envelope I had it in and read it again. I cried over it before, so I just put it in my safe and didn't read it for years, and of course cried over it then, cried over it posting it, then cried over it previewing it...good grief even, will it never end. Or do I want it to? Maybe that is the question. wjh

[Guest]

thanks for the conversation and he was such a good dad

[ALNA]

Yhanks Wanda. It was beautiful and made me cry too.

Lisa was a very special kid, very connected with her daddy, very smart, very sweet.

Oh my God she must have had such a hard time after his dead. So Sad.

I think she still has a lot of memories there at Graceland. Some very good but also a lot of them very sad.

So sad he had to go so early and leave his child

[Amanda Viola]

Elvis' love for his little daughter seemed to pour out like a flood tide, coming to the present day, filling our hearts with it, as we read this conversation.

It is so moving... Once again, thank you, Wanda. It is easy to understand the bitter-sweet feeling you must have while coming back to those warm-loving talks with Elvis.

I'm sure that you are serving right the purpose of Elvis' life by doing so.
Thanks to you -and some others too- there is a lot of Love going through the web. I only wish that more links were connected to this site. I don't know how, but I'd like to help to accomplish it. Any idea?

[Rainbow Light]

Thank you, Wanda for choosing to reveal this to us with such an emotive, heart-rending conversation with Elvis nearing the end of his life. I don't think right now any answer that I can give would truly be able to describe how I truly feel on reading it right now - too many tears! but I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to post this.

His love of Lisa has never been shown and portrayed as powerfully as you have given to us in words today, what an wonderful father he was to her!

OK, now, that's it I can say no more right now

[Wanda June Hill]

I can safely say he lived for his baby-from the moment he found out she was on the way, Elvis couldn't wait to his hands on his child. That she was a girl was even better I think, as dads seem to bond more with their daughters in special ways- some do with their sons too, but to me based on my own experiences it was the girls who got into their dad's hearts quickly and often more obviously. In this case, all part of the plan for him I guess, because when we first were getting acquainted he said he hoped he had a little girl, they were so cute with their ruffled bottoms and little dresses and curls.
And then he had one-he only thought of a son briefly he said, then he "knew she was a girl" and said she came to him in a dream and she was going to be a little doll.
And she was that. It was very hard to post, opens up some memories I had put aside but I guess it's time to get it all out and over with- I didn't tape the entire conversation-I called him to let him know the video cassette of the college project /interview was on it's way to him so he'd expect to get it. He never mentioned it-and I didn't get a chance to ask if he had got to see it-it required a professional unit to view it with-but he had a movie set up so he probablly saw it at home-if he wanted to or had the time. I sent Lisa a copy of that conversation in 1980 when I wrote to her and sent copies of most of the tapes -I thought that conversation might get her to listen-I never heard anything from any one but they were signed for by someone whose name I couldn't figure out it was so scribbled.
Anyway, I wish he had seen a doctor instead of toughing it out, believing the ones he had seen. wjh

[maia]

E: (Laughs) Yeah, she was okay with it too. 'n then she asked me if I wanted to have any more kids and I said I didn't know, what did she think about it an' she thought about a second 'n took hold of me real tight and said, No Elvis, let it just be me for you! An' she started crying, so you know we both cried an' I told her she'd be just for me, always. Didn't want any more kids, but her an' then she was hugging and kissing me and tellin' me I'm her little daddy forever and ever. OH shit...that's enough of this...Gawd, I'm a f....n' big baby! ( He sounded choked up.) See, I just miss her so -so when she's gone back home to-to....

SO TOUCHING! NO WONDER SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM MUCH...TO SACRED AND PAINFUL FOR HER.

[maia]

I only wish that more links were connected to this site. I don't know how, but I'd like to help to accomplish it. Any idea?

Once the book comes out, Amanda maybe we can put our cyber heads together and come up with an organized PLAN.

[Amanda Viola]

O.K. Ready and waiting.

[Wanda June Hill]

I love those things- I always laugh and have to look at them several times. Great stuff! Perfect for your posts Maia! wjh

[Lighthouseseeker]

you're right Wanda about the medicines..after all,drugs and guns are the two main sources of the money that rules the world.Even cures can be found ,if those companies wouldn't stop them, mostly using force of course..well, my mother didn't use those medicines for her boneloss. I read a lot about theose medicines always and we decided they are extremely dangerous..
and about Lisa,it's not just to take that most special father from this little girl and leave her with her mother..she needed her father more,I believe the things he could have tought to her was can't be replaced by anything else or any other education..

[Wanda June Hill]

After thinking about this for some time, and then reading that conversation and remembering how he sounded when he moved or laughed, I believe he did have fractured disks in his back-he said it hurt to sit, lay down or walk and that spells spinal injury and also x-rays would have been in order. I can't believe his doctors did not get him in to have them done... I think Lisa is right, "no body noticed". Elvis was "bigger than life" and he always "came back" from whatever it was. I think since his little girl was there for the summer vacation, he wanted to spend time with her, play with her, take her to ride the roller coaster and so, in order to be able to do it, he took pain killers -though for some time he had been coming off all such things and sleeping pills. He was proud that he had broken the "circle" and was getting his system cleaned of all that. But when he didn't get any kind of relief from the doctors who knew his back hurt, he treated himself-He had liquid pain medication but he didn't want to get addicted to it again, so he used pills-and they slow down the colon's ability to function, his was already nearly non-functioning and it easily blocked up again. I don't think he even thought about that-he just wanted to spend quality time with his little girl and he did. Maybe if he'd had x-rays, found he had fractures and took time to heal, his back had been hurting since the 55 shows he had done earlier- he had mentioned it earlier in the year, saying he "sprung something bad" and it wasn't getting better-perhaps he might have done better for a while, though he had told some people he was not going to be around much longer-there was nothing that could be done that he would allow them to do. He preferred to just try medicine and prayer, God's will be done. And nobody noticed... after all, it was just "crazy Elvis" playing the fool and being a "baby" about things not going his way. wjh