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 Post subject: Advice, What Would You Do?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 10:17 am 
Pharaoah
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Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2008 3:35 pm
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I want people who's older than me their advice of what I should do as I feel stuck.

Dad left for work this morning and I had text him something to call someone back, well an hour after he text me this "We should be together, you know that don't you? xxx" and sent it to me which was obviously a mistake and intended for someone else :x

I text him back why he text me that message and he phoned my mobile straight away making an excuse saying he worded it wrong by saying he was bored and wished he was at home with me and mum. In my gut I don't believe him and he text me again saying that I didn't believe him and phoned me again straight after pleading not to show my mum the text as he didn't want a argument.

Whats your advice? To me that text was made VERY clear in what he was saying to someone else and he seems to be very manipulative towards me on the phone. I also asked him why he sounded panicked on the phone and his excuse was "Oh just stressed at work" hmm yeah right :roll: I never think badly of my dad but the thought that came to my head was "you lying peice of cr*p!" I'm 23 and I'm not stupid.

He also swore on MY life he wasn't up to anything, hmmm thanks dad :roll:

Should I show my mum or delete the message and keep my trap shut?



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 Post subject: Re: Advice, What Would You Do?
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 11:50 am 
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Emma, it is hard when we learn that our parents (either one) is not being honest; would your mom feel any better if she saw the text? Could she handle the stress of knowing YOU know? She may already suspect or know about him but it is her decision on how and what to do about her husband. It is difficult to keep a secret; sometimes we need to do that though; for the sake of someone else. Your mom must suspect, she may even know deep down and hopes it will pass. Your father now knows you are aware and must be torn about it; don't confront him, argue or fuss or act out your feelings further. It is his and your mom's problem; unfortunately it affects
you painfully and also makes anger hard to handle. He knows; he will be on pins and needles toward you. If you have to say something, stay calm, cool and realize that he is the one who is covering his own tracks. Keep the text message if you can save it some how; these are my thoughts. Just try to remember that what goes on between him and your mother is not really for you to choose; it is totally between them and you are an unfortunate witness at this time. Try to keep her spirits up in general and avoid confrontation with him. Let him stew; if he is worth keeping is up to her; that's a hard one to take, but it is the truth. I had to learn that one growing up and it was difficult to handle. You are smart, strong and spirited, you will find the way kid. God bless your family, wjh



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 Post subject: Re: Advice, What Would You Do?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 7:06 am 
Jewel in the Lotus
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Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2006 7:28 am
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Location: Spain
Emma,

I share Wanda's thought. One can't tell which will be the consequences of one's actions. You could start a rumble in your home in a second... It would empower something whose real dimension you don 't know right now... Maybe it's only part of a "fantasy" by your father side. The fact that he made the mistake of sending the message to you instead, says a lot. Maybe he "needed" to be stopped and just found an unconscious way... You can't tell...

For you, to work Acceptation, Understanding, Compassion, Forgiveness in this affair, is a gift of Life. You may secretly bring into the family LIGHT and LOVE, to harmonize your feelings, your hearts and trust in what may come out from it all, as the best for each and all. One can't judge the path other has to walk in his/her lifetime. Each soul has a journey to do to fulfill its purpose and nobody else knows.
I learned it over the years and it's a lesson I greatly value.


YOU know, Emma: the main thing in Life is not what happens, but what do you do with it. Everything has the potential for your growth. :wink:



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Amanda Viola

Elvis said: "LOVE is what it's all about." :*::*: Now I know it's true.
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 Post subject: Re: Advice, What Would You Do?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:12 pm 
Jewel in the Lotus
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:hello: If I was were you Emma, I would Pray about it and put the Whole thing in the Lords Hands. It isn't your Burden to Bare, its your Fathers. Just Let the Lord Handle it, he knows what is Best for Every One. :love:



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 Post subject: Re: Advice, What Would You Do?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 3:46 pm 
Flame
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Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:40 am
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It is a complicated situation and surely hard to handle for you. But I think also, it is better to keep quiet. For children it is alway hard to realize there is something wrong between their parents, because we love both of them. The mistake of your father, sending his message to the wrong person maybe makes him feel bad, but is also a chance to overthink what he want really in life, what are the real values that count in his life. But at least this problem must be solved between your parents - because it is their life and they have to live it.

But I wish you the best and hope the familiy will stay together and be able to solve all problems.



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 Post subject: Re: Advice, What Would You Do?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 4:45 pm 
Pharaoah
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Thanks for replies :) decided to stay quiet even though I've had a close friend trying to convine me otherwise. Her dad cheated 6 times and told her mum and assumes I should even though my mum could act different to her mum.

The last fews day have been kinda awkward. As a kid I trusted him 100% and thought he could never do wrong, now I'm older, I kinda know what he is and capable of :(

I'm not married, but warned my boyfriend when I first started dating him, cheat once and that's it and he knows I meant it :lol:

What made me mad the most is that his mother left his dad for another man when he was 8 and I would have thought he would have known how angry and hurt it makes you.



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