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 Post subject: Cilla
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:18 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2005 5:08 pm
Posts: 1500
Location: Kapaa, HI
Last night I was feeling Elvis' presence very strongly and he "revealed" to me (I don't hear his voice):

Please understand that Cilla and I were both immature when we met. We were both very NEEDY - needing love and attention. I poured my need into this young girl in Germany and then afterward by sharing all my sorrow and confiding me need for love. She was too young for this, but she pretended to be ok with it so she would not lose me. Had she come to me and said, "this is too much" or "I need to be heard too...will you listen?" I would have done my best to comply. But she did not do this out of fear and because she simply was not aware of how great her need truly was.There are conditions that were in her childhood which closed her down tremendously.

I was trying to heal not only from the loss of my mother, but from the abuse I experienced as a child by my father, whom I still loved dearly. I was on better terms with Daddy by the time I met Cilla, but my relationship with my him was still very difficult and I had alot of inner pain about his treatment of me as a child, which I was in denial of at the time Cilla came into my life. My father so soon becoming involved with another woman was extremely hard on me as well. In a way, I blamed myself...if I had been a true "son" to him he would not need this other person in his life. This was not true, of course, but was my feeling at the time.

In my life style which Cilla shared with me, neither of us had the opportunity to mature as we would have in a less unrealistic and therefore less dis-functional reality. WE CHOSE THIS REALITY - each of us. I chose it first, and then she chose to join me in it.

I received much of the love I needed from many, many people. Cilla did not. She was not so much jealous of the attention heaped upon me or the other women, as she was the LOVE I received. Instead, I even let her down by not demonstrating to her in a mature way, the love I had for her. She was more my "dolly" - my pretty, cute little lovey, to whom I baby-talked. Had I to do it again, I would have treated her like the WOMAN I really (deep inside) wanted her to be. She then would have had a PATH OF LOVE to follow into such a role. She still could have chosen to reject it, but I unconsciously chose NOT to give her a balanced partnership in which to attain it. I am not speaking here of giving up my career. I blamed my career on the failure of our marriage, but this is not so...I know this now. It was not the career. It was two people not willing to see the other's pain and take responsibility for THEIR OWN PAIN.

Either one of us could have helped the other move into a more expanded awareness of LIFE and therefore created together a more expanded reality. But, for our own karmic reasons, neither of us chose to do this.

As a result, we each "missed the mark" in how we delt with our relationship and each other. However, my soul was not here to learn the same thing that Cilla's soul was here to learn. So my "missing the mark", while certainly present in the relationship, does not seem as obvious as does Cilla's. WE CAME TO LEARN DIFFERENT THINGS FROM A SHARED EXPERIENCE.

Priscilla's soul is dear to me. This is not because I am "blind" to her faults. I was in some ways during my incarnation. But I am not now. Her soul is dear to me because now, from this vantage point, I am able to view her entire akashic record and what her soul has chosen to work on and accomplish along it's complete soul path. Such a vantage point makes a tremendous difference in how you see a human being struggling in it's incarnation.

Maia Nartoomid, author of Blue Star Love (Elvis Book)
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