It is currently Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:32 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]




 Page 1 of 2 [ 13 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Wanting To Leave Home! AARRGH!
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:18 pm 
Dragon

Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:12 pm
Posts: 25
Location: Brasstown/Murphy, NC (USA)
First, just a little background (and please pardon the language because I'm just so angry right now because of what I'm going through):

I'm thirty-five years old and have lived with my parents my whole life because of my medical condition (Cerebral Palsy/Hydrocephalus - "water on the brain") and I was born weighing two pounds and nine ounces at birth and was told I'd never ever survive and even if I did, that I would have to be institutionalized and that I wouldn't know anybody or anything or be able to do anything at all - but, God had other plans and here I am thirty-five years later doing (mostly) what other normal people do (except drive because I'm legally blind in my left eye) and I'm very musically gifted and I play several different musical instruments - .

The problem lies in having an overprotective parent. She watches every single fucking step I make - literally - and she's ruined just about every relationship I've been in (the one I'm in now is on rocky ground - we were supposed to get married this past May but that didn't happen because she got scared and called it off because she didn't feel like it was right at the time).

I'm literally sick and tired of living in this hell-hole of a prison that's called "home" - hell, it's not even "home" to me anymore. I want to be with the lady I love (the one in my avatar) and not because of wanting to get out of the damn house but because I love her and want to be with her.

I've wanted to talk to my Mom about, at least for the time being, moving out on my own and getting the hell away from her because of her eagle eye she seems to keep on me but....I don't make enough money to pay rent or buy food....etc., etc. because SHE keeps all the damn money that I'm ALREADY supposed to be getting (my SS check was supposed to have been turned over to me when I turned 18 but that didn't happen).

My girlfriend thinks that I just want out of the house just becase I want to be with her. In the very beginning, that was true but....it's been eighteen months that we've been seeing each other and I told her very forcefully last night when she brought me home from visiting her and watching a movie that it's not about me wanting out of there just to be with her anymore....I want to be with her because I love her and want to marry her...and I don't know how much longer I can stand being here at home and not with the lady I love with all my heart.

I've laid in bed alot of nights recently and cried myself to sleep because of all this...I just don't know what to do anymore....

I know my Mom means well but....she's destroyed every single relationship I've ever been in...she watched me like a hawk (literally)...I don't have any privacy....the only times I'm happy are when I'm with my girlfriend. I was supposed to have been a married man this past May but, due to some very hurtful and insensitive comments made to my fiance' from some of my family members while I was in the hospital for some surgery last August, the wedding was called off and I don't know now when or if it will ever happen.

I'm heartbroken, angry, depressed (I'm on meds, but they - plus the physical pain I deal with - make the depression worse sometimes up to the point of just wanting to end it all and say, "to hell with this!") and I'm only happy anymore when I'm with my girlfriend and we're together either at her place snuggled up watching a movie or just hanging out.

She's been gone to the beach with her children since the 14th and I've been stuck here in this hell-hole of a "home" and haven't get to hear from her much. :'(



Thank You/Sincerely,
Tony Trout


Offline
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wanting To Leave Home! AARRGH!
PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 11:58 am 
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:47 pm
Posts: 4300
Location: California
Dear Tony,
Thank you for letting us know your situation, feelings and needs; now we can pray for your release, and that you can have the life you need and deserve, it is your time. I am sorry that I didn't realize it was not Marty in the picture, but you and your friend ... it was a shock to think he had changed but then he has been ill. The picture of your friend, shows love, protection and desire to shelter.
Tony, your image reveals a strong spirit, (you had to have that to come this far in life), it also shows intelligence, as does your writings and your thought process. your mother loves you, she is possessive because she nearly lost her son, maybe more times than she could
handle; she wants the best for you but she can't imagine anyone else protecting you as she has and does. This is a problem she may never get over, but you can
make the choice to break free, clean and quickly if you can straighten things out with your friend. Can you make it clear to your relatives to stay out of your life without damaging the relationship with them; this may be your choices: Tell your mom you love her and always will, but you want to have a normal relationship and be with the woman you love, though she will always be welcome to visit. She is afraid to lose you Tony, you have been her life, her reason for being and it's hard to break those ties. (Funny how 'apron strings'
are nearly indestructible). Please know that we will keep you held to the
light, and ask that your path be cleared, that your family will have reasonable
attitudes and understand that you want to experience life to the fullest extent of your abilities while you can. And also that your friend will realize you mean what you say, and that you will refuse to allow your family to get in the way
of happiness for the two of you. I believe in prayer, Elvis did also, with all his
problems he never gave up on following his belief in God's will and understanding.
For this cause shall man leave his family and live with his wife as one... that is
just a para phrase of the actual verse and not nearly as detailed, but Elvis at times read and talked about marriage and what it meant...before he married.
he did not believe in divorce, but things happen. Tony you are strong, you are very sharp and quick and intelligent and from what you have revealed here,
brave and desperate for understanding, and whether you realize it or not, you have honored ElC by sharing your heart. You may not believe in prayer, but
we do- and we've seen answers in the past...
please take care of yourself, positive thinking, picture what you want and go get it- take the big steps gently and firmly. From this day forward- do not argue with anyone, be firm, quietly and clearly state your truth.
love and peace is yours,
wjh



_________________
Wanda June Hill
author of "We Remember, Elvis" & "Elvis - Face to Face"
Offline
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wanting To Leave Home! AARRGH!
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 4:42 pm 
Jewel in the Lotus
User avatar

Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2009 10:29 am
Posts: 4215
Location: Virginia
:hello: Tony I don't think you know me, and I have only Met you once. But I what to say that I know how you feel and what you going through, and I Feel Very Strongly that Elvis as Sent you here and as Helped you to Open your Heart. I also think the Lord as Lead you back here to ELC, so I hope you will give ELC and the Lord a Chance and You will be in my Prayers. :love:



_________________
WITH OUT A SONG THE ROAD WOULD NEVER END, WITH OUT A SONG A MAN AIN'T GOT A FRIEND.SO I KEEP ON SINGING A SONG! Elvis Aaron Presley!!
Offline
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Another member's family in need-
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 6:50 pm 
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:47 pm
Posts: 4300
Location: California
HI, our friend from Canada who posts as Toni would like prayer for her father in law who has cancer, the family has just learned this news; her husband and his dad's family need to find strength at this dire time. Thank you all, wjh

PLEASE scroll back a few posts to see all the current prayer requests for this
time frame- July, 2011 We have two members with similar names, Tony a guy, and Toni a lady... both are shaken with emotional stress at this time and have shared their hearts at this time.



_________________
Wanda June Hill
author of "We Remember, Elvis" & "Elvis - Face to Face"
Offline
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wanting To Leave Home! AARRGH!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 6:55 am 
Jewel in the Lotus
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2006 7:28 am
Posts: 4625
Location: Spain
Tony, I really appreciate that you dared to share with us your feelings at this fundamental time in your life. We all may take a look at ourselves through the clear mirror that YOU are offering us.

Probably you are aware of the following:

- each of us is unique and comes to this realm to develop an unique life pattern that nobody else can accomplish, a pattern that comes into synergy with those of other Beings, fullfilling and enriching meaningful expressions of Life as a whole.

- the energy now rolling for humanity is one of great challenge. We are facing substancial changes that shakens our structures from the ground, to easy the building of new ones so much more appropiate for the evolution of the human beings up to their whole potential.

Thus, each one of us becomes fully responsable of his/hers own deeds and thoughts. Lots of feelings are coming to the surface to be identified and to be cleansed. We are "letting go" what was before and that now is not anymore. We are working in setting new approaches to Life, widening our frame to look at what happens, to look at what is happening to ourselves. This is a precious time to look firmly to WHO WE ARE and be faithful to what our heart says. It is time to be sincerely, completely true to YOU.

I encourage YOU to walk your path with steady, firm steps, with LOVE as fuel and Joy in your heart.

Best wishes. :P




_________________
Amanda Viola

Elvis said: "LOVE is what it's all about." :*::*: Now I know it's true.
Offline
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wanting To Leave Home! AARRGH!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:44 am 
Dragon

Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:12 pm
Posts: 25
Location: Brasstown/Murphy, NC (USA)
I forgot to mention that one reason I'm not married yet is because the fiance' feels like she "jumped the gun" when she said, "Yes" to my marriage proposal the night of my birthday on May 20, 2010 was because she didn't feel that it was the right thing to do that the time but I found out later that she's scared to death that, if we marry, it'll end up like her first marriage - in divorce. We were supposed to have been married on May 21, 2011 but, because of her fear, she called it off.

I've tried to tell her I don't know how many times that I'm NOT her ex-husband and I love her too much to ever walk out on her or divorce her because when I love someone, I love them deeply and, to me, marriage is for life. It's nothing to play with. :love:

I know right now that if she said, "YES!" to me, that I would marry her in a heartbeat and I would love her until death do we part - not like that idiot of an ex-husband she had. As a matter of fact, I love her so much that I'd rather go first than have to go through the pain of having to see her leave this Earth first.

Just keep me in your prayers regarding this and the situation here at home....it's getting to where I can't stand to be here at home anymore.
:cry: :(


Offline
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wanting To Leave Home! AARRGH!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 2:59 pm 
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:47 pm
Posts: 4300
Location: California
It is easy to understand her fears, once burned etc; it would be hard to jump in again with that still 'fresh'. Time heals as does love; she cares deeply for you, but there is still some left over fear of the past. Patience, understanding will win if
it is the right thing for both. She is a lovely person, with a beautiful heart and
she wants to shelter and protect you from everything... it's just a hurdle from the
past that somehow or other, was refreshed recently...? Remember, quietly and
with dignity, speak your truth, refrain from harshness and discord; seek peace within and you will find it without as well.
love and blessings, so many they will fall gracefully around your heart.
wjh



_________________
Wanda June Hill
author of "We Remember, Elvis" & "Elvis - Face to Face"
Offline
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wanting To Leave Home! AARRGH!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:02 am 
Jewel in the Lotus
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2006 7:28 am
Posts: 4625
Location: Spain
Wanda June Hill wrote:
It is easy to understand her fears, once burned etc; it would be hard to jump in again with that still 'fresh'. Time heals as does love; she cares deeply for you, but there is still some left over fear of the past. Patience, understanding will win if
it is the right thing for both. She is a lovely person, with a beautiful heart and
she wants to shelter and protect you from everything... it's just a hurdle from the
past that somehow or other, was refreshed recently...? Remember, quietly and
with dignity, speak your truth, refrain from harshness and discord; seek peace within and you will find it without as well.
love and blessings, so many they will fall gracefully around your heart.

wjh


I believe you said up there such wise words, Wanda...! I truly believe that we may create resonances in others when we center ourselves in our heart with the "frequency" of LOVE (that is: Patience, Compassion, Forgiveness, Tolerance, Generosity, Service, Harmony, Appretiation, Gratitude, Joy...). That is a calm, quiet, inmense, deep vibration that "calls" the same vibration in the people around us.

Please Tony, watch what Elvis did in the middle of his "battles": he chose a quiet place to meditate, to stop all the noise of the world to listen to his heart, to calm his feelings and to connect to something deeper, higher and bigger... He found his strenght in those connections made through his heart. To take some time every day to "stop the world", thus the "spinning wheel", is essential to gain peace in our heart and to be able to give peace to others. YOU so much need to give... it becomes evident... Certainly you can develope the highest quality of what you have to offer to others and to Life. I encourage you in that sense! :hello:



_________________
Amanda Viola

Elvis said: "LOVE is what it's all about." :*::*: Now I know it's true.
Offline
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wanting To Leave Home! AARRGH!
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 7:04 am 
Flame
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:40 am
Posts: 383
Hi Tony, your emotional outburst is very understandable. Also your wish to live a normal life like everybody of us. We human are not born to be and to live alone, but sometimes there are circumstances that make it harder - like for you. I think it is reasonable that your mother is very protective to you and may she didn't not really understand your wish. I think that deep down, in the bottom of her heart she want only the best for you but didn't realize that her protective behaviour is like a clog for you.
For mothers it is always hard when their child matured and grown out of her care and try to live their own life. A subtile reason also could be her fear to lose you to another woman. So try to convince her that this will not happen when you are married. Tell her that she not lose her son but win a daugher if you are married. But often there are mothers which hold on tight and cannot let go their children into a life by themselves. Hope, your mothers is not like this.

On the other hand the arguments and fear of your girlfriend are related to her divorce in the past. This is always a bad experience and it need a lot of time to come over of all the hurt and pain. I think she need a lot of love and confiance. So this mean you have a lot of work to convince her that such a experiences she will not undergo in a marriage with you. Don't give up, try as hard as you can to convince your mother and girlfriend about you genuine feelings. Perhaps when a talk take place between you, your girlfriend and mother would be helpful??

So take care and God bless you.



_________________
The biggest part of Elvis Presley was his big heart. It was full of love for everyone
Offline
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Wanting To Leave Home! AARRGH!
PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:31 pm 
Dragon

Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:12 pm
Posts: 25
Location: Brasstown/Murphy, NC (USA)
The title says it all.....my girlfriend/former fiance' broke up with me last night for good....needless to say....I'm heartbroken....I haven't taken any pics of us down yet that are on any forums because my heart just won't let go of her...we're still friends, though. We're probably better off that way because she told me in the beginning that she wasn't getting married again - and I stupidly didn't listen.

Prayers/good wishes would be appreciated....even though I knew it was coming, nothing takes the hurt away of the words, "It's Over".


Offline
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
 Page 1 of 2 [ 13 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

cron
phpBB skin developed by: John Olson
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group

This site is hosted by Free-Forums.org - get a forum for free. Get coupon codes.
MultiForums powered by echoPHP phpBB MultiForums